Spiral Dragonfly Coaching
Mary's Magical Musings
Liminal Time
7/15/2009
I remember returning from an exhausting, exhilarating, fun two week vacations when I worked in corporate America wishing I had another week to re-acclimate myself before returning to work. Invariably something happened while I was gone that needed to be dealt with immediately; the washer had overflowed; didn't quite get the refrigerator empty and it had something disgusting and smelly growing in it; and those were the "emergencies" at home. When I returned to work (or logged in to email BEFORE physically returning to the office), there would be another two or three items that required my immediate attention. No such thing as a smooth, restful reentry was available.
We all wear numerous hats and have an abundance of roles in our lives. Sometimes it takes a great deal to keep these disparate personas in balance. To decide whether it is more important this afternoon to attend a child's soccer game or complete the work project that requires your immediate attention and focus. Things happen in our lives to make us rethink our priorities; to decide if we are on the path we are meant to travel or it is time to find a new path. These "things" can happen to society as a whole such as 9/11 or can be very personal in nature like the death of a parent or the youngest child leaving home. It is this liminal time - time between what and who we thought we were until we reset our assumptions - that is a good time to look at our preconceived notions; to examine that image of ourselves, decide if we really are that person or redesign the image.
The transition time between when we walk in the door and set down our luggage but before we pick up the mail, sign in to email, or start checking messages is my definition of liminal time. And that time is getting shorter and shorter as we become more and more connected. Even IF we manage to leave our cell phones at home (or at least turned off), we find a location that DOESN'T offer free internet connection (or we leave our computers at home) for whatever period of time we are "relaxing" as soon as we are back in "connection availability" we are turning on our devices: cell phone, blackberry, computer. We are convinced that the world could not possibly continue spinning without our assistance or at the very least our observance.
In the last year, I have attended several seminars, trainings, and retreats. While in attendance at these events I have insights into how I need to change my way of being in the world. I am enthused, excited, motivated to create these changes in my life as soon as I get home. Then life happens. I come home to the same issues, same routines, same roadblocks that I was trying to find guidance around or through by attending the seminar.
What keeps us from instituting the changes we want to make OR what happens to drag us back to the original way of being if we make changes but don't sustain them? Next time we will look at the process of change and how to anchor changes to get through the barriers.
If you have managed significant change in your life or are looking for support and encouragement as you go through changes, I look forward to hearing from you. Please send me a note.
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